Chapter 86
Ron’s first experience with detention, Jersey Catholic style, came when he forgot his Latin book. Brother Delban wrote out the jug slip like he was handing Ron a piece of candy.
At the end of the day Ron reported to jug. The boys were lined up facing away from the desk in the empty room. They were positioned in front of a clock. They were told to stand with their arms folded across their chests, their backs straight, and their heels at forty-five degree angles. It wasn’t uncomfortable for the first five minutes, but then Ron felt his left knee begin to stiffen and throb.
Brother Conrad was in charge of jug. The students called him the silver fox because his hair was silver and grey and he seemed to have the ability to sneak around silently and be just where you didn’t want him to be. The rumor was that he used to be a Marine.
About fifteen minutes into the one hour detention, Brother Conrad silently glided down the aisle between the punished students and found a boy who had been cradling a book between his folded arms. The room had been silent except for the ticking clock and Conrad had heard the turning of a page. There was a smirk on his face when he found the culprit. “What have we here?” he said in a deep booming voice that seemed to shatter the endless ticking in the quiet room.
Jimmy Rollins shrunk. Conrad’s hand slapped him on the back of his head and his hair stood up comically after the blow. Ron felt himself starting to giggle at the sight of the exaggerated cowlick that now stood up like an accusation. Conrad moved it front of the boy and peered into his face. “Did you really expect to be allowed to cheat my clock, Rollins?”
“No Brother.”
“And now you are lying to me. Do you think that I am some ass of a fool, Rollins?”
“No Brother.”
“Of course you do Rollins. You think that you are cleverer than I am. Let me show you where your cleverness has gotten you.” Brother Conrad extended both of Rollins arms out straight. He placed the history book on his left palm and then walked quickly back to his desk and retrieved another heavy book and placed it on Rollins right palm. “Each time you drop a book Rollins, you get the reward of another day of jug. Of course if you are strong enough to stand like this for the next forty minutes, you will have proven that you are indeed more clever than I am, but I sincerely doubt that.”
Now the boys could not help but stand there and stare at stare at Rollins. In a very short time, his arms started to shake and the double thud of the books hitting the floor could be heard. This time Conrad did not bother to get up from in back of his desk. “Two more days Rollins. Resume your position.”
A moment later the books dropped again. This Conrad came down the aisle again. “Now you owe me four days.”
Jimmy Rollins was shaking and he was fighting to hold back his tears. “I can’t do it, Brother.”
“Don’t feel so clever now, do you Rollins?”
“No Brother.”
“And not particularly strong are you?”
“No Brother.”
“Well Rollins, if you are neither clever nor strong what does that make you?”
“I don’t know, Brother.”
“Neither do I Rollins, neither do I.”
Conrad walked away without saying anything. Rollins was in a quandary. What was he supposed to do now? He timidly lay the books at his feet and resumed his original position.
The hour ticked passed. Ron was given his signed jug slip that proved that he had lived up to his obligation. His walk home felt triumphant.
Chapter 87
Robin and Ron walked up to the corner to buy a Christmas tree. The holidays had drained their pockets and they weren’t sure that they would have enough. Ron had a surprise. He had an extra twenty that he hadn’t mentioned to her. When they got to the tree stand, he picked out a perfect tree and said, “What about this one?”
He could see the sparkles in her eyes and then the doubt that crept along her face. “I don’t think that we can afford this one.”
Ron reached into his pocket and took out the twenty. “Yes, we can.”
“Where did you get that?”
“I was saving it.”
She reached into his pocket with her small hands and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. “That’s very romantic, Ron.”
The tree was wrapped and Ron hoisted the trunk on his shoulder. She followed along, holding up the top of the tree. They had no decorations, and so they made them out of costume jewelry, cuff links, popcorn, and greeting cards. They admired their creation sitting with a glass of wine and smoking a joint.
The apartment was theirs now, although they were seldom in it except to sleep and on some weekends. During the week, she worked and then went into New York City for her acting classes. When Ron was finished with school and his part time job delivering drugs for a local pharmacy, he took a train into Manhattan to meet her. After her classes, they had coffee at one of the village bars and then drove home together.
Ron loved the pattern and spent lots of evenings walking the streets of the village while he waited for her. But now they were both on Christmas break and the apartment was warm and bright.
“Do you think that we’ll always be together?” said Ron.
“I don’t know. Do you think that you could ever pry yourself out of New Jersey?”
“It depends. I’d like to. Where do you want to go?”
Robin grinned. “Someplace warm.”
She cradled her glass of wine and feel the warmth of it mixing with the pot. “Do you know this song?” She began to sing in a soft voice that got louder. Robin sang, “I would die, I would die, I would strangle myself with my tie. If ever you said goodbye, then I’d die.”
She stopped and they both laughed. “Maybe that should be our song,” said Ron.
“You hate ties.”
Ron laughed, “That’s why I’d die.”
He got up to refill her glass. As she watched him she said, “You know you have a really nice ass.”
Ron felt himself blush but stood there with his back to her so that she could see it.
“Two of the gay guys at school were talking to me about it. They asked me if you were bisexual.”
Now Ron could feel his ears turning red. “What did you say?”
Robin grinned mischievously. “I told them that I hadn’t found a kind of sex that you didn’t like.”
“Why did you say that?”
“Because it’s true. You’d fuck me five times a day if I let you.”
Now it was Ron’s turn to grin. “Why don’t you?”
“Because I get sore.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“No.”
“Tell me why?”
Robin laughed. “We’d never get anything done. What fun would that be?”
“I know, but eventually I’d weaken and we could do things.”
Her grin had a wicked tinge. “What kind of things?”
Her words flicked his switch. He knew what she was asking. They smiled as he paused before invoking their code words. “Other things.”
He watched her tremble at the sound of it. She had two glasses of wine in her and had smoked a joint with him. They decorated a Christmas tree with things that were unusual and what they had. Other things meant sex. Robin smiled an impish grin. “I love adventure.”
Chapter 88
Two days after the surgery, Ron showed up at the coaches’ office. “I’m back.”
Artie Harris and Steve Ferry looked at him with a startled faces. “You just had your knee cut.”
Ron said, “They don’t cut it anymore. Now they puncture it and suck things out. Then they pump things in. It’s like a lube job and an oil change.”
Artie Harris burst out laughing. “You’re out of your fucking mind.”
Steve Ferry grinned but then his face got serious. He’d learned that Ron was considered a serious teacher of English. Steve believed in education as much as he believed in football. Besides, Ron’s girlfriend had a great ass. “Ron, you don’t have to prove anything to me. It’s a long year. You really want to do this?”
The smile that spread across Ron’s face was contagious. Ferry realized that it must be the expression that he used in his classroom. “I want to do this because it’s what we do. I want to be able to do what we do and I think I can.”
Paul Pamenteri said, “You taking drugs?”
Ron lied. “Just aspirin.”
Steve assigned Artie to watch Ron during practice. Ron was holding a clipboard now, and limping back out of the range of contact. Artie looked at his face. When Ron walked, Artie could see that he had pain. Then he watched him roll his neck and flex his shoulders and breathe. Ron called the next play.
After practice Paul Pamenteri asked Ron how he felt. Ron smiled. “I’m great. I’m getting married.”
Paul smiled. “When?”
“Late March,” said Ron.
“Might be nice to be able to walk down the aisle,” said Paul.
Ron laughed and made eye contact until Paul laughed as well. “I’ll be fine.”
After practice Ron changed his clothes back to his classroom apparel before he went over to Celeste’s house. He saw Angel’s face looking out from behind a curtain. He saw her smile light up her mouth and then her cheeks and her eyes. He saw her mouth form an O and then the curtain closed and she ran to the door.
Ron watched her expression change as he bobbled over with his immobilizer on his right leg. He sat down on the porch and she tentatively kissed his cheek and sat next to him. “I have to wear this because I got hurt.”
“Why did you get hurt?” Her tone had a glimmer of petulance in it. Ron felt its admonishment.
“It was an accident.”
“Why?”
“There isn’t a why about accidents. They just happen.”
“Why did it happen to you?”
Ron was totally flabbergasted. He was talking to a two year old child and felt outflanked. He didn’t realize that children her age weren’t supposed to make complete sentences and now she was refusing to look at his face and just staring at the thing on his leg. He unstrapped the Velcro and took it off. He placed it under them on the steps. “Does that make you feel better?”
The searchlight eyes lifted to his face. “Are you still hurt?”
Ron smiled his best dimpled grin. “Not right now.” He eyes looked at her hair, her curly light brown tangle of hair, and then her face. “I love you,” he said.
“I miss you here,” she said.
“I have to work.”
“Why?”
“We need money, but I’m a teacher and my students miss me.”
He was astonished as he saw two tears roll down her cheeks. “I miss you too.”
“Adults have to work.”
“Are you one?”
Ron felt a jolt strike him. “I think I have to be.”
“Why?”
Ron smiled and knew he had her. “Because of you.”
He expected her to grin and she did. Then she stretched her arms up and held his neck. Ron completely ignored the pain in his knee as she pressed on it.
Chapter 89
Ron could not pinpoint what he had done wrong. He was just walking home and his foot came down on a place where the sidewalk was lifted and split and his knee twisted and he felt it again. He tried to walk it off. It had just been a small twist. Maybe it would be fine in just a few minutes. It wasn’t.
Ron felt the weight of his leg as he limped up the stairs with his book bag slung over his shoulder. He got into the house and George said, “Would you run down to the corner and get some bread?”
“I can’t run anywhere,” he answered bitterly.
“What’s wrong now?”
“Same shit that’s always wrong,” said Ron.
George galloped from out of the kitchen with a menacing look on his face. “I don’t want you using that kind of language around here.”
“Nah, it’s only ok when you say shit huh?”
George backhanded Ron across the face. The rage boiled over in him and he forgot about his knee and lunged after him. He felt the pain shoot up his leg and he fell. This time what snapped was not in his leg. It was deeper inside and he found himself lying on the floor shaking uncontrollably.
George stood there looking stunned. Ron couldn’t really see and felt his lips trembling and a rushing in his ears that blotted out everything else. He was admitted to the hospital that evening.
He liked the hospital. The nurses smiled at him. He roamed the halls and talked to other patients. There was no one hitting him. There was no school. He thought that maybe he could just stay here until he was old enough to be somewhere else.
An upper GI series revealed that he had the beginning of an ulcer. His chart showed that his blood pressure was vacillating. He was easily set into a depth of not speaking or doing anything except staring at the wall and hoping to go back to sleep. When the nurses’ notations showed that he was often asleep during the day, eating little and talking less, it was decided that Ron should see a psychiatrist.
The man came to his bedside, and drew the curtains as Ron watched. “I’m Dr. Reed, Ronald. Would you prefer that I call you Ronnie or Ron?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Reed made a notation and Ron watched his silver pen flash as he wrote on his pad. He wondered if he had said something wrong already.
“Do you know why I am here, Ronnie?”
“No.”
“No one told you that I was going to be stopping by?”
“No.”
“You’ve been sick, Ronnie.”
Ron let his eyes roam the curtains. He was in a hospital. What kind of an observation was that? Was this guy a moron? Ron didn’t answer.
“Dr. Polino thinks that your ulcer may be the result of emotional distress. Do you think that is a possibility, Ronnie?”
“I don’t know.”
“Have you been upset recently?”
“I guess.”
“Do you know what is upsetting you?”
“No.”
“You can talk to me in confidence, Ronnie. Anything that you say to me will be between us.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why don’t you believe me?” said Reed.
“Everybody lies to kids. I think it’s part of the adult code.” Ron bit his lip. He hadn’t wanted to say anything and then he just blurted that out.
“Who’s been lying to you Ronnie?”
“No one.”
“If you aren’t willing to work with me Ronald, I’ll simply tell Dr. Polino that I don’t think that I can help you and he’ll send home and you can go back to school”
Ron felt defeated. “What do you want to know?”
“Do you know what’s upsetting you?”
“I hate my life. I hate that my knee is hurt. I hate my step-father. I hate my school. I hate that I don’t see my father anymore. I hate that I’m too young to do anything about anything.”
“Everyone has those feelings sometimes, Ronnie.”
“Then I guess that I’m fine and just don’t know it.”
“There’s no reason for sarcasm, Ronald.”
“There isn’t?”
“It isn’t helpful.”
“It’s not?”
“Do you find that you are sarcastic often?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
“Do you think that you might be?”
“What I think is that people don’t really want to hear what I think. They want to hear what they think that I should be thinking.”
“You’re a smart boy.”
“Nothing that I say to you is going to make any difference.”
“Suppose I told you that I could arrange to have you stay home and rest for a couple of weeks after you got out of here.”
Ron’s ears perked up. Maybe this guy could help.
Chapter 90
Robin and Ron listened to the news intently. It was a Saturday night. It was still warm. Richard Nixon ordered the Attorney General of the United States to fire the special prosecutor who’d been hired to investigate the Watergate break-in. The Attorney General refused and resigned in protest. Nixon ordered his Assistant Attorney General to fire the Special Prosecutor. He refused and also resigned. Finally, Robert Bork, who was then the Solicitor General, agreed to fire Archibald Cox, the special prosecutor who been hired to investigate Watergate.
They held hands. She said, “Can we get some ice cream?”
“I think that it’s all coming apart and years ago I wanted that. I thought it had to come apart. Now, it’s scary as hell.”
Robin kissed his fingertips. “Do you want strawberry? Are you listening?”
“I heard every word that you said. They’re proving that they are as crazy as we always thought they were.”
“I know.”
“Are you frightened to be right?”
“I have to think about that.” The cascade of thoughts that flowed through his brain suggested that she might be correct. Hadn’t it been a lie since he was old enough to figure out what a lie was? Hadn’t Viet Nam been even a blacker and darker lie than he ever imagined it to be? Kennedy had whipped Nixon’s ass, well almost. But Kennedy was dead and Nixon was president. Johnson and then Nixon were like the nightmare monsters that were sent to make someone afraid of dreaming. “Yeah, I’m frightened that I’m right about this?”
She smiled and kissed his fingertips again. “Let’s get some ice cream. We can listen in the car.”
The radio news said that we were headed for a constitutional crisis. Ron looked over at her face as she licked her cone. He watched the relish that she took as her tongue swirled over the strawberry ice cream scoop.
Then the radio was reporting that agents of the FBI had sealed the offices of all three men. Cox’s staff was told that they would only be allowed to remove their personal papers from the offices. Richardson and Ruckelshaus, the former Attorney General and Assistant Attorney General, were not allowed to take anything with them.
“Do you think that he’ll try to destroy all of the evidence against him?” said Robin.
Ron thought about the Kennedy assassination again. Something inside of him clicked. “I’m not sure that he can. I mean, wouldn’t someone have to go over there and do it for him? The President can’t exactly go over there and do it himself? Besides, we never get to see the actual evidence. It all gets covered up and bleached or locked away so that the people will never know.”
“You think about things too deeply,” she said. “Sometimes it causes you to miss the simple things.”
She ran her foot along his thigh as he watched the TV. She wondered how long it would take him to realize that she wanted to get laid. Robin thought to herself. For someone who likes sex as much as he does, he is terrible at picking up on signals. It’s like he never learned that language.
“I don’t think I miss the simple things,” said Ron.
Robin laughed. “No Ron, you’re always right on top of things.”
Ron said, “I’ve been thinking about the Kennedy thing.”
Robin burst out laughing so hard that she snorted wine up her nose. “Of course you have.”
“There’s nothing funny about that,” said Ron indignantly.
She laughed again and Ron started to get angry. She spread her legs on the couch and lifted the hem of her dress up to expose herself up to her waist. “Is it clear enough now what simple signal that you might be missing?”
Ron grinned the dimpled smile that she loved. “Oh.”